- Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Do not pick it up right away. Instead shout “Get off, stupid. Get off!”
- Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice “relaxing into the fall.” Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet!
- Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out $100 without looking down.
- Jog long distances carrying a halter and lead in one hand and an arm stretched out with a carrot in the other. Encourage your non horsey neighbors to join in.
- Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. Be sure to smile as if you’re really having fun.
- Hone your fibbing skills. “See hon, moving hay bales is fun” and “I’m really glad your performance and multi-million dollar horse won you 1st place – I’m just thankful that my hard work and actual ability placed me 2nd.”
- Practice dialing your chiropractor’s number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchored on the lead rope to a frisky horse.
- Borrow the old Army slogan “Be all you can be……(bitten, thrown, kicked, slammed, trampled….)
- Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat….”This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,…”
- Marry into Money!
